dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize