im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
