My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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