shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
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Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
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It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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