i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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