you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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