I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think your dad took our porno
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
