If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
