If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
