Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
