It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
