I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
