dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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