i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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