were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We're too hungover to prance.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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