I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Someone shit on the floor
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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