love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
