i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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