Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize