Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
