Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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