If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
