somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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