I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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