I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
