My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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