You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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