I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
