where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
