I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
