That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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