whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
