Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The cops high fived after they tackled you
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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