i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
