My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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