i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
