"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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