she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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