Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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