She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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