Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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