Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
