He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
