Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
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he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
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Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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