Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
