guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I am spending my child support on dildos
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
