and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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