he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I believe in your delicious
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
