Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
