I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Come on in and take your pants off
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