I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
