I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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