He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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