Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
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