HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The Olympian is in my bed
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