you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
