remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
