is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
