And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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