I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
