wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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