Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize