It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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