U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i've created a new STD.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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