please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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